i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
accomplished twins. life is a go
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
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