where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
So many bounce houses so little time
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
