Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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