You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
