absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
