she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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