based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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