I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I need to calm my uterus...
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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