the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize