yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Randomize
