look no pants
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Randomize
