You don't have asthma, your pregnant
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize
