I skipped work to stalk him.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
