Whod you bang
Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
