ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
