Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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