Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Randomize
