i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
