Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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