So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
