Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
My bed is full of blood and feathers
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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