Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
