In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
