I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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