So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Randomize
