After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
