That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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