id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
