my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
you never un-have a 4some
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
