he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
I am one with the molecules
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
