Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
