Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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