Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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