Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
