"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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