i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
