I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
She announced her abortion via fbk
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Randomize
