I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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