this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
