508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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