if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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