4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
