Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Are we still banned from the library?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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