If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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