well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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