He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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