Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Randomize
