the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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