super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize
