Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
