I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I love you. Go after that dick
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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