The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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