The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
jump out the window naked night went bad
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