a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I just had sex on a roof
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
FUCK WHALES
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