me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
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