They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize