Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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