: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
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