all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize