____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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