I'm jealous of your bromance
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
