I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
