Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
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