did you get engaged???
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
The uberlube is also flammable
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
