A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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