would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
