I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Tell her she can't have a vagina
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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