Don't you send me to vm
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
