So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
