make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
