In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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