You can't special order awesome
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Randomize
